Sometimes I forget about all the shit I used to say to myself and about myself.
I forget that I spent a lot of my time and energy apologizing for my very existence and beating myself up for all the things past and present that didn’t go the way they were “supposed” to.
I forget about how much anxiety this caused me and how it made it almost impossible to move forward in my life.
As humans we can be very hard on ourselves. If we heard someone else saying to us the crap we say to ourselves we would be highly offended!
Imagine walking down the street and some random person yells out to you you’re SUCH a loser! How about your best friend saying to you wow, are you fat! Look at those rolls! Or the cashier at the grocery store, you suck at your job—I wouldn’t be surprised if they fired your ass.
Man, the world would be scarier than it already is if people were constantly throwing disparaging remarks at us. But how scary is it that we do it to ourselves all the time? It’s damn scary and really unkind.
So how do you stop?
1) Be an observer of your own thoughts. Most of us have a constant dialog running and we may not even be aware of the thoughts we are thinking. You may be surprised when you pay attention.
2) When you catch yourself thinking an unhelpful (ok harmful) thought use Step 1 of Andy Dooley’s Vibration Activation™ and say Stop Cancel Clear, Get the Fear Out of Here! (or you can use the more colorful version of the f word which I prefer). This stops you in your tracks and gets you off of what could become a runaway bitch train.
3) Start to tell a new and improved story. Aren’t you sick of this old icky one? Aren’t you tired of hearing it? Stop telling yourself how hard it is and that you’ll never be able to do it and just start doing it. In other words, as a friend said to me as I was spinning a tale about feeling over my head with all the various pieces I had to deal with, just shut up and do it. Followed by, I meant that in a polite way. But he was right—telling a negative story was just keeping me stuck. So I took his advice and shut up—consequently I started getting things done.
These are pretty simple steps. Now you just have to do them. If you are one who constantly berates yourself it is time to stop. You deserve so much better.
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