It’s Not Who You Are–It’s Just Some Crappy Thing That Happened

Most of us have had crappy things happen in our lives. It would be pretty hard to find someone who had not had some kind of a loss or hardship—most likely impossible. Even the Buddha—as the story goes his family tried to shield him from the outside world so he would not know suffering. But he made it outside the palace walls and saw that indeed life was not a bed of roses as he had been lead to believe. People were sick, aging and dying. People suffered loss and hardships throughout their lives. It happens; it’s the way it is here on planet Earth. But do we have to become attached to these hardships?

One of the keys to living a happy life is to not become attached to these trying times. They are fleeting moments of now and they are not happening anymore. We can ruminate on them, talk about them like they define us, regret them, be angry about them—the list could go on and on. But really where does that get us? Stuck in the past and mentally involved in a situation that has been over with for a long time. Not in the present moment which is happening right now. Where would you rather be?

You may be saying as you are reading this I have something crappy going on right now in this moment—what about that? Well crappy things do happen and they do actually have to happen in the moment because it is all that we have. But it is only a thing that is happening—a circumstance. So in the present moment we have to look at our reaction to the circumstances because that is what causes us to suffer, or to not.

There are truly amazing, joyous, and loving things that happen here on this earth, as well as awful, heinous things, and everything in between. We live in a world of contrast. But ultimately we have control over it because we decide where we put our attention and how we react. You might think life is happening to you. Actually life is a series of circumstances and then our perception of and reaction to them. Do you see?? You have a choice!

Please know I am not sitting here saying that if you have had a loved one die or something terrible happened to you as a kid, or whatever the situation, that it should just be smooth sailing—no big deal. Things of that nature can suck beyond belief, and we need to take time to process them. But what I am trying to impart is that staying attached to these things just causes suffering. Reacting extremely to these situations in the moment just causes suffering. Because ultimately it is a moment in time, a situation, a circumstance. This continues to change moment to moment. It’s the stories we tell ourselves about these situations that causes us to hurt. We label ourselves as that which we perceived happened to us when really it is not who we are. It is just a crappy thing that happened.

I love this quote from Eckhart Tolle, “Emotion in itself is not unhappiness. Only emotion plus an unhappy story is unhappiness.” Are there any unhappy stories you are telling that you would like to let go of? EFT is a powerful tool to help release old unhelpful stories we may be holding on to. I have seen it yield amazing results in people’s lives, as well as in my own.

If you are ready for a shift or to transform an area of your life I can help you get started!  Head on over to my coaching page here.

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2 Responses to It’s Not Who You Are–It’s Just Some Crappy Thing That Happened

  1. sarah June 10, 2013 at 6:52 pm #

    check out research by james pennebacker. he studied effects of writing out personal stories and if you do write out (especially traumatic) stories, your immune system improves!

    • Gwen
      Gwen June 10, 2013 at 6:55 pm #

      Interesting–I will check it out. Thanks Sarah!

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